


Potvaliancy

by Crunchysunrises



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol, Community: naruto_meme, Community: trope_bingo, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Teen Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 21:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/970303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crunchysunrises/pseuds/Crunchysunrises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lee drinks some of Naruto's 'liquid luck.' Sakura is deeply unimpressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Potvaliancy

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Potvaliancy  
>  **Fandom:** Naruto  
>  **Rating:** G  
>  **Content Notes:** alcohol-related violence?  
>  **Disclaimer:** I have no rights to or claims on the Naruto franchise, trademark, copyright, or characters. This is for fun, not profit.  
>  **Summary:** Lee drinks some of Naruto's 'liquid luck.' Sakura is deeply unimpressed.  
>  **Additional Notes:** Written for the KakaSaku Role Reversal Challenge. Fills a couple of the naruto_meme prompts for the September 2013 Drabble Challenge. Also fills the "Broken Bones" square on my H/C Bingo Card and the "In vino Veritas" square on my Trope Bingo Card. Written for the naruto_meme propmt of Lee/potvaliancy.

Naruto puts the idea into Lee’s head. After a night of listening to stories about Naruto’s two and a half year training mission with the Toad Sanin, Lee knows two things: liquid luck exists and it makes you irresistible to the ladies.

If it works for the great Toad Sanin (and Naruto) then it will probably work for Lee. Just to be certain, he asks, “Can it improve your technique with a particular lady? Or is it a more general technique?”

“One girl or all the girls, it’s all the same,” says Naruto expansively. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are bright. Naruto is holding a bottle of liquid luck loosely by its neck. “It makes everything better!”

“I must try this technique!” Lee exclaims.

Although Lee has told Sakura many times and in many ways how he feels about her, Sakura never takes him seriously. But maybe, with a little extra luck, Sakura will finally agree to become his girlfriend. Maybe she will even _kiss_ him. There mere idea of it makes Lee’s face hot.

Planting his palms on the tabletop and leaning forward earnestly, Lee asks, “Where can I purchase this ‘liquid luck’, Naruto?”

Next to Lee, Neji chokes on a mouthful of his sake, spills the rest down his front, and flail his arms. Kiba, who is an excellent comrade, helpfully whacks him on the back.

“The good stuff’s kinda expensive,” says Naruto. “And the rest of it tastes like piss.”

“Money is no object!” Lee asserts.”I need the best luck there is!”

Lee _needs_ the best luck that money can buy because this is for Sakura and their future happiness together.

“Okay, okay, geez,” Naruto says. He takes another long sip out of the bottle then holds it out to Lee. “Here, finish this and I’ll get you another.”

“Thank you, Naruto!”

“Er, I hate to say this but, I’m a little short,” Naruto adds. “Uh, I’m going to need your wallet to pay.”

“Don’t worry!” Lee assured Naruto as he produced his money pouch. “I have plenty of money!”

“I thought you might,” Naruto said with a wide grin. “I’ll be right back.”

Neji lunges at Lee just as Lee throws back his head and drains the bottle.

He does not remember anything else about that night.

 

 

 

Lee wakes up in the intensive care unit. Nothing hurts but that might be the drugs.

Slouched into chairs on either side of his bed are Neji and Gai-sensei. They are asleep, Gai-sensei drooling and Neji snoring. Tenten is sitting in a chair by the window. She is quietly reading a paperback book, using the late afternoon light as a lamp.

Lee tries to move his hand, fails, tries to speak, and ends up making a rasping sound instead.

Tenten looks up from her book, her expression distant and unfocused. Tenten’s eyes focus on him with razor sharp precision. A delighted smile breaks across her face.

“Lee!” she gasps, but quietly.

Tenten drops the book on the windowsill and is across the room in a few, quick steps. She pours Lee a glass of water, sticks a straw in it, and helps him take a few sips.

“What happened?” Lee asks when his mouth is properly hydrated again. “Why can’t I move my arm?”

“You don’t remember?” Tenten asks, but her tone sounds resigned.

“No. Was there an accident?”

“Not – Not exactly,” Tenten hedges. “Sakura broke several of your bones. It looked like you were going to get away with it for awhile but, after she speared you through the thigh with that birch sapling, I think we all knew how it was going to end. She broke all of your limbs but you broke her nose and one of her arms, so at least you didn’t embarrass yourself.”

 _“Sakura_ speared me? She would never! And I’d _never_ hit her!”

“Well, you _did_ grab her tits, squeeze them, and make honking noises,” Tenten allows, looking embarrassed for him. “I think you tried to bite one of her breasts but it was hard to tell since you ended up with a mouthful of fist. She re-grew your teeth, though, after Neji explained the situation to her.”

“What situation?” Lee demands, horrified. “Was I brainwashed? Have I been compromised?”

Tenten actually looks surprised. “What’s the last thing that you remember, Lee?”

“Neji was choking on his sake,” Lee says, frowning. “And – and I had a sip of Naruto’s bottle of liquid luck! It was supposed to help me passionately confess my feelings to Sakura and persuade her to become my girlfriend!” His face heating, Lee adds, “We were going to kiss.”

“Well, Naruto’s liquid luck wasn’t so lucky for you,” Tenten says tartly. “Lee, it was beer! You got drunk!”

She peers into his face expectantly. Apparently not finding what she is looking for, Tenten shoots an irate look towards Gai-sensei and mutters something about soft-hearted cowards.

“Tenten?” Lee asks.

“Lee, there are a few things that Gai-sensei was supposed to discuss with you,” Tenten mutters angrily. “Just – Just listen and don’t say anything until I’m done. Firstly, Lee, you should probably never, ever drink unless it’s on a mission, we’re outnumbered, and it looks like we’re all going to die because…”

 

 

 

Sakura sweeps into the room later that afternoon, her head held high, her shoulders stiff, and her right arm in a crisp, white cast. Lee is relieved to see that her face is as flawless as ever. Lee feels guilty enough about her poor arm.

“S-Sakura,” Lee gasps, his voice strangling in his throat.

“We will never speak of that night ever again,” Sakura decrees and Lee breathes a sigh of relief. “I’m over it. Now, let’s see how you’re doing.”

Sakura studies his chart, tends to his injuries with his left hand, and makes a few more notes in his chart. While she works, Lee cannot help but look for his daffodil. Sakura always brings him daffodils when he is in the hospital. The utter lack of daffodil says louder than anything else that, whatever she says, Sakura has not yet forgiven Lee for his poor behavior.

When Sakura turns to go when Lee scrapes up his courage and blurts, “I’m sorry about what happened, Sakura!”

Sakura sighs, her shoulders finally relaxing. Stepping closer to the bed, Sakura says, “Lee, I’m not mad anymore. Really, I’m not.”

“Thank you, Sakura,” Lee breathes. “I’m glad.”

“How’re your limbs feeling?” Sakura asks, tucking a tendril of hair behind her ear with her good hand.

“Good!” Lee assures her and it is even true. At the moment, everything feels great. It all feels pretty awful when the drugs begin to wear off, though.

Sakura beams at him and, delighted, Lee beams back at her. And, just like that, it feels mostly normal with Sakura again.

When she comes to check on him the next day, Sakura brings a daffodil.


End file.
